Dreams

It's late morning on a Tuesday. I'm working late tonight so I can afford to sleep in and write this blog in my sleep attire. I awoke from a wonderful but also (it's just my nature to think this) depressing dream. I worked in an airport with everyone I work with now - very old, semi-desolate - much like the airport in Abbotsford. Anyway, I won't go into every detail but I develop a friendship with a certain someone. We wander together, share a smoke, exchange facts, the list goes on. I woke up thinking that part was glorious & made me feel comfortable. It's one thing when a random person in your dream makes you feel at home, but when it's someone you already kind of know it feels different. Like you share a certain closeness with that person - a secret of sorts. I imagine some people feel this way about sex dreams - like, "I know something you don't know." Someone actually told me that once. Moving on. At some point there was a robbery, a hold up. It was terrifying, and instead of hitting the ground like everyone else, I hit the ground running. It lasted a while, a lot of money was taken, I got to beat some girl up, violent but amusing. Just a dream after all, right? Everything after that was fairly blurry, with some parts involving meeting my family, using a broken telephone, missing that person mentioned above, that was the depressing part. It was a good dream, my mind seems powerful after something like that.

Halloween is coming and in my typical fashion I still haven't a clue what to be. Perhaps this is my tradition, something I should embrace - my indecisiveness. Thought about being a widow, but I would just look like a goth. I still have a little bit of time to think about this so I'm not too worried.

My lately

Benkei Ramen "Akaoni"



Harvest



War Propaganda posters & publications



Sam Edelman "Kat" Oxfords

Monday

Lately I have been doing a whole lot of lusting, wanting and appreciating. Perhaps in a compulsive manner, but it is something I constantly enjoy doing even if it's an item (or idea) that I can't always afford. A few things that sum up my "lately."

No. 1 Sneakers/WWII Plimsolls





No. 2 Gold






No. 3 Symbols



No. 4 Leather

Tunes

I am in the midst of an ingenious plan to re-invent myself, to make slight additions to my exterior, interior, and the places that I spend most of my time in. It's my How To Feel Good Again plan for the dark months of Fall & Winter, where I usually go into hibernation and feel sorry for myself for no necessary reason. Funny how the sudden darkness at six o'clock can do that to a person. Anyway, a good soundtrack to this plan of mine is 'Full Moon Fever' by the all American saint, Tom Petty. For the past year I have flocked to this record in my collection for that feel-good emotion that it brings me. There's something about his classic Rock N' Roll melodies that can make my sour mood into a This Ain't So Bad mindset. Liberating? yes. white trash? sometimes. relatable? sure. covers the bases? absolutely.

So, on that awful, ominous Winter day when you're feeling down & out, I'll be at home listening to this record. If that doesn't work, I guess I'll go back to listening to Metal.




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The Hour

This afternoon I decided to treat myself and pick up Harper's Bazaar's September issue. I sat down on my loveseat and entered a world I revisit once in a while - a fantasy land filled with colours, shapes, and beautiful creations. I stared at the pages intently, taking in every detail, every model, every piece, every word. I can forget my life for a little while. I imagine taking home those perfect Celine boots I lust after, or those Chanel trousers - but what about the Cole Haan oxford pumps I've promised myself? As every page ends and enters another, I am filled with such strong emotion that goes farther than just materialism. I feel inspired to change myself into the effortlessly-chic woman that I will soon become, a woman with confidence, who does not second guess herself - who might own a fantastic collection of pieces that is not just a wardrobe.

Am I solely just a pawn in the fashion game?


Chloe Fall 2010



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